Confidence Isn’t a Personality Trait | Mind Tamers Blog

🌟 Confidence Isn’t a Personality Trait

It’s a Practice — and You Can Build It

If you’ve ever said, “I’m just not a confident person,” I want to gently challenge that.

Confidence isn’t something you either have or don’t have. It’s not a personality trait.
It’s a skill. A practice. A muscle.

And the best part? You can build it.

💭 But why does it feel so hard?

Because most of us learned early on to hide the parts of ourselves that felt “too much” or “not enough.”
Maybe you were criticised, bullied, told you were stupid, misunderstood, or told to tone yourself down.
So your brain made a link:

“Being seen isn’t safe.”

And when that belief gets wired in, no amount of pep talks or “just go for it!” energy will help - because your nervous system is quietly saying “no thank you.”

🎥 What does this look like?

• You want to post a video, but you freeze or over-edit it

• You hesitate to speak up in meetings or in life

• You second-guess your content, even though you know your stuff

• You feel like you’re “too much” and “not enough” at the same time

Sound familiar?

🌱 So where does true confidence come from?

It’s not about being loud or perfect or polished.
It’s about feeling safe enough - in your body, in your message, in your self-worth - to show up anyway.

Confidence grows when you:

• Let go of old beliefs like “I’ll be judged” or “I’m not good enough”

• Regulate your nervous system so you don’t freeze on camera or shrink in conversations

• Take action before you feel ready, with gentleness, not pressure

✨ A few tips to build confidence gently:

1. Start with safety, not performance.

Ask: What would help me feel just 5% more supported as I show up?
(Soft lighting, a kind reminder, a grounding breath?)

2. Talk to yourself like someone you love.

Notice your inner critic, and choose a different voice.

Try:

“It’s okay to be seen as I am.”
“I’m allowed to take up space.”

3. Don’t wait until you’re ready.

Confidence doesn’t come before the action, it grows because of it.
Start small. Show up imperfectly.

Build trust with yourself.

Use emotional freedom technique

EFT can be used to help release some of the feelings, one example is here.

There are more in the Limiting Beliefs Membership - it is free to join.

🎓 Want deeper support?

I’ve created a short, powerful online workshop to help you build real, grounded confidence, especially when it comes to visibility.

It will be on the 22nd July and will only be £0 - yess FREE!

Be Seen: Confidence on Camera is perfect if:

• You’re holding back from sharing your work

• You overthink what you say or how you look

• You want to feel calm, clear, and yourself when you show up

👉 Explore the course here?

🔍 Still feeling unsure?

You might be carrying a limiting belief that’s keeping you small.
I’ve created a free quiz to help you identify it — and start shifting it at the root.

👉 Take the free quiz here

You don’t need to become a “confident person.”
You just need to come back to yourself.
That’s where your real power is.

With love,
Margaret x

PS:

I see you, and you are amazing 🌟